To Suicide Thoughts

It is very easy to miss the opportunity suicide thoughts brings. Suicide thoughts as the willingness to die. The opportunity lies in the acceptance of death in the form of desire. With it accept and desire fear as all types of fear stem from the fear of death. Everything that ever chained you from growing into a holy person, who lives fully, speaks their truth and does what is right. With a willingness to die a fierce presence of life unfolds.

"No tree can grow to Heaven unless it's roots reach down to Hell."

  - Carl Jung

Suicide thoughts are something diffrent. Cooking food in disgust for how easy it would be to cut your wrists. The warmth from the cuts as the rest of the body goes cold and you slowly fade away. Taking a walk and relaxing thought of how it would feel to just take a quick step into the street with running cars. Visualizing the car hitting your legs, how they bend and your head slams against the hood. It is the pleasure in the thought that makes it so horrible and disgusting. It is the same feeling you had when you hugged that beloved stuffed animal as a kid or that lovely soft blanket. But relief is what it is all about. Relief from all the things you don't have the strength or ability to handle. The crushing weight of being alive that feels like it is about to kill if you stop resisting. I say let it before you do it yourself. You will realize that it wasn't the case and it was all in your head. Look for joy in life however small and within hope. Hope being weak in its essence but with time creates faith. Faith is a strong force that you cultivate over time. Faith will show you solutions attached to your problems. As solutions are the joy in the problems. Don't cling to the solution because it carries problems of its own. New problems will arise with new solutions. Old solutions only make joy bitter because they may not be the solution for the new problems. Let yourself fall into action and be released. The memory of the pain will shift into the process of growth and show you wonders you could not imagine. Continue to wonder as you did as a child and enjoy the rest of your life. Living a joyous life.